the day my world and marriage stood still

soo . . i didn't ask him what i was thinking, ya know, the affair question. i thought to myself, he would be so upset if i did. how could i think that, there is no way.
so on with our lives we went. graduations, birthdays, and our 3 year anniversary. DeWayne was leaving to go out of town at the end of the month. taking a bike trip to Arizona for work with a couple of buddies. on the day he was headed home, i got a call from him. it was a typical day with the kids, lunch, errands, and lastly a trip to walmart. he called to check on BoDe, who had gone to the doctor earlier that day. we had a short conversation and he said he would call me later. that was right after i had got out of walmart. once i got the kids loaded in the car and got on the highway, the phone rang again. it was him. when i told him i was driving home he stated he hoped he would have caught me already at the house. i didnt see why that mattered. he asked me if i remembered asking him if he was happy, and i said yes. my stomach beginning to tighted with anxiety. then he said, well i'm not. umm. . .ok i think was my reaction. what does that mean, what are you saying? divorce? his response. . .yes. i literally think for a split second i blocked everything out and i still to this day dont know how i was able to keep driving. thank you god for keeping your hand on my steering wheel. then i did ask the question that i should have asked 2 weeks ago, are you having an affair? yes he said. with who was my automatic response. when he told me, again, i think god grabbed my steering wheel knowing i was not going to handle his answer well. i remember being short of breath and thinking, this is not real. when is he going to say, "gotcha!" but that never came. i'll come back to what i did next and the confontation with "her." it happened as soon as i found out, and i mean as SOON as i found out! words were said, but i often wish i had said more. or even said some things different. i was to nice. but also nothing had set in yet. i hate to say it, but today would be a different story if ever she wanted to confront or talk to me about it. i'm still very bitter and angry with her. i know i will need to forgive one day, but that day is far from here.